So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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