Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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