Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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