Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
