when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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