So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
