hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Randomize
