The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize