I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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