glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
i out mim tonsoeep
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
