Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Randomize
