1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
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