All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
the gays at disneyland are vicious
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
