i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize