You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
