better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Randomize
