Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
