I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
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