fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
