Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
