His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize