found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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