what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
