Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
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