Screwed.edu
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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