His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Randomize
