I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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