that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
