the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
