we have pet lesbian snakes
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Randomize
