based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
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