I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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