Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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