My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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