My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
