quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
