I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Operation Purity has been aborted
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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