Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
