The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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