I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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