it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
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