you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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