I CAN MOONWALK!
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
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