we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
