turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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