Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
