smell my finger.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize