Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
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