and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
