Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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