fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
