It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
