it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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