Got a toothbrush?
Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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