Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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