dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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