He had one of those small greek statue penises
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
