You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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