someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Randomize
