i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
