Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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