I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
