You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
