my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
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