You smell like stripper and shame
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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