You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
