dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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