Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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