Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
