I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
