i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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