Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
