So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
