i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
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