I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
