OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
