Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize