gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize