im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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