If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize