there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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