I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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