Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
FUCK WHALES
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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