I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Randomize
